Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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