Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
