I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
