Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
