As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
