i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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