Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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