Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Boobs speak an international language.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
