im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
