Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
