omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
