The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
