So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is Oprah even human
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
