Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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