see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
