Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
