he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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