I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize