Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
