Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
