I wish you could order shots online.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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