Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
