I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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