So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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