this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
As shirtless as possible
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
