I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
