Don't EVER smell your tampon
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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