i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
