I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
