We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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