my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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