how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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