I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
