Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The air taste purple.
Randomize