i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
