I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
