This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
