Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize