can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
