Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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