@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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