I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
