i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
