So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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