That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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