It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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