I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
