Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
