At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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