either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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