i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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