Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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