if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
