Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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