I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
