Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The air taste purple.
Randomize
