the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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