Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
