He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I had to cum in my sink.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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