I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
