I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
