Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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