No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i need some magic done to my vagina
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
