Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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