Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
