your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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