I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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