I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
