you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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