what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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