just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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